You remember how every December we would write down a list of the resolutions we hoped to accomplish the following year? How we had a bucket list of things we wanted to get done before the end of the new year? Do you also remember how we would write that list and somehow conveniently lose it through the year? And kept telling ourselves since we wrote it, we must therefore know it by heart.
Then, we got to the era where resolutions were no longer cool. We all decried them at every chance we got and made excuses why they were never that great. Excuses like, they just put unnecessary pressure on oneself and no one follows through with them anyway. And just general doubt on the effectiveness of resolutions and whether they are good for us to begin with.
Well, research by the U.S News & World Report actually shows that 80% of people give up on their resolutions by February. 80% of people! That means almost everyone who made one is looking to quit right about now and leaving only the 20% to carry the rest of us to the finish line. I’ve been in this category year in year out before finally just giving up on making resolutions altogether.
Often times, my resolutions felt burdensome, limiting and restrictive. Every single year for the last 5 years, I’ve had loose weight as a resolution. But when it was time to put in the action to fulfill that resolution; going to the gym seemed like to much a task or sticking to a healthy diet too much work. And I found that I had the hardest time keeping up a resolution when I shared it with people – suddenly, I’d feel pressure to do this THING which should have been a good motivator but always ended up doing the opposite for me.
Recently, I got to wondering about the 20% who stick to their resolutions – like my Cameroonian mother would say “do these people have two heads?” (Almost every African child has heard this from their parent at some point). How come they can make resolutions in December, begin them in January and stay resolute through the end of the year?
Then I stumbled on this eye-opening research by Stockholm University which provided insight as to why a lot of us quit our resolutions and proffered a good suggestion which made a lot of sense. At least to me. The secret lies in how we phrase and go about our resolutions. Resolutions that are about quitting and avoiding things are less likely to reach final stages. We tend to feel stumped or overcome with fear to actually follow-through. Isn’t that ironic? That for example, you decide you’d quit alcohol in the new year and instead of doing that, you quit quitting alcohol.
Rather, phrasing such as ‘I’d like to drink less” is more likely to stay at the back of your mind and pop-up when the temptation arises, which would cause you to rethink your choice, thereby sticking to the goal. Goal! That’s the magic word. Another research showed calling them goals makes them more attainable. Unlike resolution which is this BIG thing we hope to accomplish by year end, goals on the other hand can be broken down into several chunks for completion at different points throughout the year.
People with goals are more structured, more intentional about what they do with their time and what they give their energy to. Because they know what they have to accomplish, everything falls into a timeline. That’s right! With goals, you can break down tasks into small achievable bits and as you complete each, you are motivated to stay the course and reach the end goal. One of the reasons I always struggled to stay current with my blog is because my resolution was always to write at least one article a week. Pfff, like who am I kidding? Even the most seasoned writers do not churn out content that frequently but for a few. So this year, I’m trying a new approach – 2 articles a month. That means I have two weeks to think about what to write on, read up on it if i have to, write and edit before posting.
The U.S News article provided 5 tips on how to stay the course of a goal – one of them being breaking goals into tiny bits which I already expounded on. I have found that motivating yourself and staying positive helps as well. We are all dealing with various insecurities on the daily but when you feel that self-doubt start to creep in, speak over it. Reaffirm to yourself that you are capable and you can do it. Finally, the one thing we all know but are afraid to do – CONSISTENCY. I struggle with this too, even though I know full well that to see long lasting results, a long lasting commitment is needed as well. And remember to be honest about your abilities and kind to yourself on the journey.
If you were at your threshold already, I hope I have convinced you however mildly to stick it out a little longer. Baby steps, literally. Here’s to hoping that, consistent baby steps everyday lead to bigger steps that yield desired fruits. Of course, it’s always easier said than done. Right? But I trust in us, WE CAN DO IT. WISH US LUCK. 🙂
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