Tag Archives: Facebook

‘Hater’ Alert!!!


How many times a day do you hear or read the word ‘hater’ either on social media or regular conversation? How often do you read it in FB statuses or comments on blogs/articles? Or are you one of those who easily gravitate to that word in defense of your opinions or in response to someone else’ opinion?

Well, regardless of your usage of the word; if you are a social media practitioner, then you have probably come to accept the term ‘hater’ as part of normal day-to-day discourse. Although there are scenarios in which usage of the word is appropriate,  often times those scenarios are few and far between.

The world over has become a village of overtly sensitive people; many people have become passive consumers that they no longer try to think for themselves or even aim to stand out from the crowd. It seems to be expected of us to not only dress-alike, eat the same things or even do the same mundane things. Heaven forbids that anyone steps out of this ‘norm’ and they are immediately tagged a ‘hater’.

I am always puzzled when I peruse through FB and read the countless statuses addressing haters, wondering how said poster knew of their haters if they themselves where not hating in return. I fail to see a ‘hater’ just because someone gave you constructive criticism or when they either reason differently from you or live opposing lives to yours.

Now, you have people who use it as a defense mechanism for poor choices, those who  use it as an excuse to be lazy and yet, others who use it as a shield to avoid criticism. The word has been so over-used that it is loosing its meaning. It would soon be on the same list as cursed words, that is if it is not already there.

We have become an abhorrently politically correct culture that anyone who dares to be different or to have a contrasting view on  the subject being discussed is easily branded a ‘hater’.  This view is very simplistic at best and ignorant at worst because people are always going to have diverse views and ideologies.

Dictionary.com defines a ‘hater’ as someone who has an intense dislike for another person or thing. Intense dislike is a very strong emotion, think about it. Not everyone who doesn’t agree with you or who lives differently from you is out to get you or feels that strongly about you especially when they don’t know you in person.

The beauty of our world is in our differences in opinions and individuality. I guess I am beckoning to your inner being then; to not care too much about what people would think but ‘do you’, be more open to others’ views, don’t be quick to dismiss criticism for it could hold a lesson, and be more accommodating to others’ choices too.

And if you don’t agree with this article, then you are just a ‘hater’. (pun intended).

Why I HATE Facebook

I logged onto to Facebook to wind time and catch up on what my friends who are distant from me in terms of location have been up to. It was an innocent gesture as always just as it should be, only this time, I noticed was I getting infuriated as I scrolled down to check statuses and see who had a new wardrobe to showcase.

Daniella is dressed in a leopard print dress with matching heels and accessories to die for, the look is completed with a pout that makes her look constipated and she is standing in what I believe is the new model pose with a hand on her right hip in front of The Saks Fifth Avenue.

Robert just updated his status, thanking God for continuous blessings in his life and announcing to the world his new acquisition in form of a house. He says it is in a swanky neighborhood, he can’t believe it’s his and how far he has come. Indeed, God takes care of his own. But he forgets to upload a picture to go along with this new marvelous blessing

Kingsley shares a picture of him leaning against a brand new BMW, hands and legs crossed, head flanking to the side  and his facial expression giving vibes of  “what’s up? look at me, started at the bottom and now i am here” kind of impression. He is wearing jeans and a jacket with sneakers, a look reminiscent of those new breakout hip-hop artists. Yeah, he has made it. Only he is standing by the car and not siting inside or driving.

Charisse just bestowed upon the Facebook world what beautiful marriage she has with her husband with a new album she uploaded.In one of the pictures, they are looking into each others eyes and seem to be lost in the action, in the other, they seem to be whispering to each other words only they can tell and yet in another, they are standing in a pose so intricate you would only see in the movies, yet we get it from the pictures, they are so in love and marriage is just very blissful.

Keira just commented on Sarah’s picture, stating how fat Sarah has become. Berating her about her weight and ordering her to lose weight because she looks ugly now. No man would desire her or even talk to her. It is the beginning of the end of her life as she knows it if she doesn’t jump into action.

These are the different personae and things  I come across on Facebook daily, albeit the fact that I know these people on a personal level. I started wondering why people I know very well and whom I am well aware as they are themselves of their statuses in life found the need to lie on Facebook, and others “kill” with their words.

Who are they trying to impress and who are they keeping up with?. These are the pressures that so many people are facing every day. The need to update a status to let the world know how interesting your life is even when it is not, the burden to upload scores upon scores of albums to show the world what marvelous lives we have, and the shear malice to comment on a photo which you are otherwise not obliged to.

I have been so close to calling these people out on Facebook but then decided against it, really, you never know what it takes for any of us to stay sane without crossing that line. So whatever floats their boat. But it leaves me wondering though, this must be some serious level of low self-esteem. For anyone person to make up things that are far from their truths just to impress people who LITERALLY do not care. Sure, people would look at the pictures, like them and even comment( topic for another day, the lies people tell on FB in the name of comments behooves me every single time) but then what?

It is the unsuspecting folks, those who have no idea what your life is really like, who are totally oblivious  to your reality who fall prey to such traps. They start examining their lives; the cars, the jewelries, the clothes and vacations are nowhere near their radars, yet they work very hard and because of that they start feeling inadequate. They start feeling the urge to show off something in their lives too, anything. And a new monster is born and the cycle continues.

The pressures from FB has turned some people into overnight thieves, others have become professional liars and yet, some have resolved to duplicity altogether; living double lives. The Downings start keeping up with the Roberts who are keeping up with the Joneses who are keeping up with who knows. An unending cycle of silent torture which some are completely unaware they have fallen prey to while some have blatantly refused to pay it any mind.

It is everyone’s prerogative how they choose to live their lives but I think as decent humans that we were made to be, we ought to be courteous to others with the truths of our existence. Our very daily lives. Some people are very fickle and so tend to get caught up in pressures like these which result to saddening events like suicides when they cannot catch up.

So again, I ask, what is the purpose of all that? I know what you are thinking reading this. Well, if it bugs you so much how about you quit Fb? And you are right, which I have done. But what about those who are not strong enough to quit, who have become addicted and cannot seem to stay away from it, what about them?

I like to think that as humans, and being Christian, one of the reason we are here is to look after each other. I certainly cannot tell anyone how to live their lives (where would I begin with the exorbitant numbers on FB) but I do hope that anyone who stumbles on this article takes a moment and ask if their FB profile is helping or hurting. If we stop and think before we update those statuses and upload those pictures or before we hit enter on a derogatory comment, surely the world would be so much better. At least FB would be.

Sorry about such a lengthy post this week( didn’t even say all I intended, but this should do) and thank you for taking the time to read. I appreciate everyone who stops by here. Do share, how are you feeling today?


Long After The Breakup

“Google is your friend!” I have heard that statement countless times and apparently, Google is indeed my friend; otherwise, how do I explain finding myself on the site and googling my ex almost a year after the breakup. (No, I am not a stalker).

I remember typing Google in the web browser, and I don’t remember planning to look him up but somehow that is what I was doing. That was after a fruitless search for him on Facebook which led me to the almighty search engine. I actually shocked myself at how engrossed I was into the articles I found on him on Google. Not that he is a famous person but let just say I updated myself pretty nicely on how he has fared. (Different address and found out he graduated with something else other than what he told me. Doesn’t matter now anyways).

Now you ask, why is she googling her ex? Well, for starters, he has been in my thoughts an awful lot lately and I don’t like it either. I have been talking to two guys who asked me out recently and we have been on a couple of dates.

These guys are both amazing…in their own way, and I have known them for a bit now but I am not in a relationship with either one, …yet.( I am not sure what I want. O to be a woman). But recently, I found myself comparing them to my ex. I found that I wanted them to be more like him or to love me the way my ex loved me.

That dude loved me. I had been in two relationships before him and I had thought I had been in love before then, but I was wrong. It was only when I dated him that I understood what it meant to love and be loved in return. He understood me like no one ever did before, he satisfied my ASD (Attention Seeking Disorder) in the relationship, he cared about my family and friends and even though he loved me as I was, he encouraged/motivated me to lose weight by highlighting the health benefits.

We had become friends first before lovers, so we talked about any and everything. Even when we ran out of what to talk about, we enjoyed the silence together, we prayed together, studied together, ate together, we did almost everything together and you wouldn’t even believe we were both in totally different continents but it always felt like he was right here because I could talk to him whenever I wanted to and he was always there. He was all kinds of right, until one the day, he was the worst kind of wrong.

We broke up after a year and a month, that was January this year. I thought I was over him until last week when my very close friend asked me about my dating life, and I kept telling her how I wished either of these two guys I was talking to could be a bit more like my ex. I wish they could be a bit more sensitive, perceptive, doting, caring and concerned in the case of one and in the case of the other, not too sensitive, or over perceptive or choke me with care. (I know, I sound confused).

Long story short, she said she thought I may still love my ex, reason why I keep comparing the guys I go on dates with to him and asked me to have an open mind.I thought about what she said and I think she is right, otherwise, what other explanation is there for my actions? I think of the other two guys and I go, “he (ex) wouldn’t do that, or he would say this or do this at this time or he was way caring”. Who does that?

I hurt myself all over again though, because I hate that he messed us up. We had something really special and amazing or so I thought,up until the mess he caused. He is the only guy who has loved me the way I wanted to be loved and treated. But like my friend said, if he was really that good, I wouldn’t be talking about him in past tense would I?

So in an effort to finally heal myself and rid my system of him, I went back to the good and almighty Google to search anything I could find on my current suitors. Guess what, there is nothing out there on them. At least, nothing interesting. I guess I would have to find out the old-fashioned way, ASK THEM.

What about you? Have you ever googled an ex long after the relationship was over? Did you wish it wasn’t over and do you want him/her back? Have you ever compared potential lovers with an ex and how did you deal with it, because yours truly needs all the advice I can get on this one. Don’t forget to share how you are feeling today. Thank you for stopping by and have a blessed day.