Tag Archives: Dieting

loosing weight when broke

Ever tried loosing weight? Well, I need not tell you how exasperating it is to have to battle with your mind everyday and time. What to eat and what not eat and the unending conversations with yourself about why you need to work out and convincing yourself to workout.

Every day there are countless articles on the web on how to lose weight: Eat This, Not That!, Do This, Not That!, Drink This, Not That!. On Yahoo alone, there are at least two articles on how to lose weight on a daily basis and they are so lucky to have found a devout reader in me. I am constantly clicking away on any article that has the words “weight” and “loss” in the same sentence as heading.

Of all the articles on weight loss I have read, I don’t remember reading any that was particularly suited to someone who wanted to lose weight on a low-budget, or someone who wanted to lose weight but was plain broke.

You see, I was certain this time this year I would have been at least 30 pounds down (I tend to have an overinflated sense of my self motivation sometimes, I know, it’s pathetic), and for a reason. With the many articles I have read and keep reading on loosing weight,I believed I knew all that there was/is to it until my bank account told me “slow down lady before you go homeless”.

When I decided in January I was going to lose weight, I was living at the time with family. So the beginning was easy. I could buy the things that I had read aided in weight loss and “eat right”. It was easy and true to some of those articles it worked. By Mid-February, I had lost 10 pounds. Stepping on the scale and looking down to see that I was 10 pounds lighter was very exhilarating.

Between February and April, I managed to lose another 10. What? I had lost 20 pounds? Impossible! Me of all people, had somehow managed to shed 20 pounds of the mass I was hurling around. Excited is an understatement to how I felt that I did that. I was happy but mostly proud of myself. I rewarded my hard work with a beautiful dress and decided I would use that as my new motivation. What I did not know was that my plans of moving and having my own place would throw a wrench in my weight-loss journey.

In May, I did what I thought was the adult thing to do, have my own place and move from my family. It is very fulfilling to have a place called my own. Living with family was great and I still sleep over there every so often, but there is a certain level of liberty that comes with having a place that is “all your own”.(sure you catch my drift, first time apartment owner).

Anyways, I had no idea about what the effects of me having my place would have on my weight-loss goal. I was completely oblivious to the bills I would have to shoulder at my new place. I am barely ever done paying one month’s bill before the next month’s starts accumulating. I find that I am constantly playing catch-up with my bills and so hardly have any money left over.

The little money I end up having over, wrestles between gas, saving for emergencies and food.And that is how I found out the hard way that, eating ‘green” is expensive and healthy isn’t cheap. I go grocery shopping and stay there for hours not because I don’t know what I want, but because I am trying to reconcile the ongoing war in me about what to buy; scouting for what is cheap yet healthy.

Let just say, my weight-loss journey has suffered some setbacks since I moved into my new place. Now if I had read any articles on how to lose weight on a broke/limited budget, I am sure I would have been down the 30 pounds I had hoped, because I would have known what to buy on my budget that would still allow me lose weight.

I am nanny, and while I am “well” paid (a little over minimum wage), I still find it hard to keep up. A few weeks ago, I had to give up buying “healthy” altogether because my wallet couldn’t handle it. I would love to keep loosing weight and buying whatever it is that will get me there, but more than anything I want to keep that roof over my head with all that I consider a necessity under it like electricity and gas and so on.

So while I find other avenues that my budget can handle to keep loosing, I will stay conscious about what I put in my mouth and working out ( both my school and work schedule make it so hard sometimes to get it in).

Do you have any suggestions for me? I would appreciate any tip from you all, anyone loosing on a tight budget. Meanwhile, hope your today is better than yesterday . Do share. How are you feeling today?

My Invisible Body

I have tried to lose wait since I can remember. I am one of those people who never had a petite figure to begin with, but gradually I got bigger and bigger. I am also one of those born into those families with ‘fat’ genes (I totally do not blame my weight on that) but I know I have used it as an excuse sometimes.

I remember too while in high school, one of my friends always teased me or perhaps predict my future when she said if I didn’t watch myself, I would get bigger and I always told her, there was no way that was ever happening. According to me, as I told her, I was either going to lose weight or keep up my stature. I wish that were true.

Sometimes I feel like my weight snuck up on me. I look at myself in the mirror most times and I wonder when I got here and how I got here. Don’t get me wrong, I am foodie I admit it. I have always had a sweet tooth and my cravings seem to control me at other times that it felt like if I didn’t do anything about it in the moment, I will be impregnated by it. At the same time, I have always been an active person, I always made sure to work out. Now my workouts were not by Olympic standards by any stretch ,neither were they that of the most athletic people. But I tried to work out on the treadmill at least 30 minutes for at least three times a week.

My meals were not/ are not the most health conscious meals but I tried/try my very best and it is my snacks that just seem to mess up my whole efforts. I am not trying to justify my weight neither am I making excuses for not losing it. But every single time I think I am making a step in the right direction, something always messes it up.

I have been to places before where I either knowingly or unknowingly eves dropped on people’s conversations and I would hear about their weights and look at them and wonder ‘ wow, you weigh that little and look that big?” That is because for most of those that I have heard and seen, their weights don’t add up because in most cases, I weigh more than them but I look less heavier than them.

I am also very conscious of my body, so I always try to dress “decent” and not wear any thing that is unflattering to my figure, which always gets people to compliment me on how good I look. Not to sound vain, I am a very confident person myself and each time before I leave home, I look in the mirror and tell myself, ‘girl, you look smashing’.

So I was thinking about all these things two days ago and wondering if they have all made me invisible to my body. How is it that sometimes, I feel like the biggest person in the world which does affect my self-esteem and yet everybody keeps telling me how good I look. Is it that my body became a normal to me that it was now invisible to the point that even I didn’t see that I needed fixing?, in this case weight loss.?

Some people find pleasure sometimes in downing other people everyday not realizing the struggles that said people have to go through with everyday. My body is not invisible because I can’t see it. The compliments people give me are simply because I dress for my body type. But I am sure that like me, many overweight, big and obese people have let their bodies become invisible.

It is not that we don’t look in the mirror ,neither is it that we don’t see ourselves when we look in the mirror. It is simply that some of us have given up that hope that we would ever look like what we did in high school, some of us don’t have the courage enough to go on that journey and some, they have just chosen to not see that body.

Some of us like me, have chosen to not see that body not because it is not there, but because somehow it reminds us or tells us that we are failures. I was thinking just last week, how it is that most of the things I had decided I was going to do this year, I focused on them and did them. Unfortunately, my weight has been the one thing that I keep fighting with and for.

I have chosen to see this body now. With every bad meal choice, bad snack decision and failure to exercise I beat myself up because I am hoping that 2014 is the year when my body comes into full circle, when my body makes a 360 turn. This body is no longer invisible, this weight is no longer invisible, one step at the time and gradually, this body will come into full view.

How are you feeling today?. please share.