Tag Archives: work

Rejection SUCKS!!!!!!!!

One of my friends recently went for a job interview with very high hopes and expectations. It was his dream job and he had been preparing vigorously for the interview. He did countless research on interview questions and several practices on how to answer the questions. The week leading up to the interview, I  dreaded being around him because he would turn me into his “potential interviewer” and make me ask him all these questions. Anyways, sure you get my point, long story short, he went for the interview and delivered.

Two days later, he was told that they went with a better candidate and he was devastated. He needed this job dearly, did all the research he needed to and prepared himself in the best possible way that he could and still got a no. He became a recluse for a  few days and would not talk to anyone.

I let him have his moment and when we finally spoke, he sounded really distraught and annoyed that everyone was asking him to handle it better. After talking with him, I realized that it wasn’t the fact that he didn’t get the job that got to him really, it was the rejection. The feeling that he wasn’t good enough for the position and somebody else was, the feeling that he wasn’t important or worthy enough to be part of the company. That in my opinion is what got the best of him.

It got me thinking about the times  when things didn’t go my way or when I felt rejected. I remembered an incident, three years ago when I was fresh from a breakup and a guy I had been casual friends with asked me out. (I am beginning to think I am a pro at shutting things out of my brain, well, painful stuff).

Well, we did go on a date. It was a nice dinner at Olive garden and although it was packed (it was during a holiday season) it felt like it was just two of us in the restaurant. We had a good conversation, getting to know each other, our cultures (he was Mexican), likes and we had a good laugh. After dinner, we saw the movie Darknight and it was very romantic sitting there with him, cuddled up in the theater. He dropped me home after the movie and we had agreed on a second date in two days.

Two days came and went and he never texted or called. I called and texted him but got no reply. A few weeks later, I walked into his place of work hoping that seeing me there would jolt him talk to me, I wanted some form of explanation but nothing. He simply looked at me as if he had never seen me before. That hurt terribly, even more than the breakup I was just coming from.

I hoped that he would at least tell me why he didn’t want to see me anymore after having an amazing time together (maybe it was all in my head). I kept searching my brain for something I might have said or done without realizing that could have prompted that reaction from him, but nothing.

I had been rejected by a man I was beginning to like (this is becoming a norm, falling for the wrong people.Keeping my fingers crossed that I have learned my lesson this year) for a reason I wasn’t aware. I have been to several job interviews and didn’t get the jobs. I have applied for licenses, jobs, all which I didn’t get. These all felt like rejection. Even failing an exam after my best exam preparation has felt like a rejection.

Nobody wants to be rejected or feel rejected but yet all of us at some point in our lives have been rejected. Whether it be by that cute lady/man we have been crushing on, a job interview, friends or things plainly working against us, everybody hates been rejected. You would think that as many times as we have been through it already, that we already know the feeling and would therefore know how to handle it better but that is not the case.

The last time we are rejected always feels like the first time and even if the event could be far attached from us, it always feels personal. The disappointment and the hurt makes us start second guessing ourselves and wondering why they and not us. Some people allow it to affect them so much that their self esteem plunges after such events, some retreat into themselves and never come out of it and  others become bitter with society and everyone.

Like I said in my last article of 2014, one of the things I learned about myself in 2014 was how to deal with situations better and hopefully, I can help you deal with it better too. First off, it is totally alright to cry, wallow or even have your own pity party immediately following the rejection. You are human, and if you keep the emotions bottled up, it will only build up to explode at a probably inappropriate time. So by all means, cry yourself to stupor.

Second, examine what went wrong, if after careful examination you conclude that you couldn’t have done any better than you did, then it is time to cut your losses and move on; otherwise learn from mistakes you made and still move on. Next, if you have a support system, allow them to be there for you and not shut them out. Finally, recoup and accept that such is life, move on and embolden yourself to better opportunities. No one likes being rejected and nobody will ever get used to that feeling,despite everyone being rejected at least twice in their life.

Hope the year is great so far. Do share, when did you feel rejected and how did you handle it? Have a blessed rest of the week.

Update On The Journey

Good evening my lovely and wonderful WordPress family.

Wow.

It feels like I have been away for a long time when it has actually been just a week. Well, school started on Monday and the drill started all over again with full throttle. My days are so so crazy and Tuesdays would be my worst this semester.

My Tuesday this week started at 4 AM. I had to wake up that early because I wanted to get my work out in before starting the day. So I woke up at 4 am, worked out, put a few things together, went to school and by 1:30 PM I was going to work. I almost didn’t have time for lunch and I only got off work at 7 PM. As exhausted as I was, I am not sure what else I was doing but I didn’t go to sleep until 11 PM. Crazy day and that is how my Tuesdays are going to be because I have an early class, – a lab which starts at 7 AM.

By the end of Tuesday, I was telling myself, if every day were like Tuesday, I would lose this weight whether I liked it or not because it was pretty exhausting. I had to remind myself to eat and to drink water and make good choices.

Pondering on Tuesday and the week so far left me thankful for the little victories already. Coming off the weekend into the new week, I messed up a little.My mistake was having Chinese food and a small Dairy Queen Blizzard. Usually, I would have had the fried rice and lo mein with orange chicken, and a medium or large blizzard but instead, I had the lo mein with steamed veggies and bourbon chicken.Also, I went for the small blizzard instead of the medium or large. I was disappointed by the time I was going to bed Sunday but I tried to not beat myself too much about it because after all, like in the past, it could be worse.

So Monday was a good day and last week I downloaded the ‘My Fitness’ app so I can keep track of what goes in my mouth. I had it before a while ago and deleted it because I didn’t pay much attention to it or when I did put in my meals for the day, I left out the ‘bad choices’. This time, I record every thing so that it keeps me accountable for the times that I mess up.

I was particularly proud of myself yesterday when for whatever reason, my alarm didn’t go off and I woke up a little late and felt that I didn’t have enough time to squeeze exercise in. I was already making all kinds of excuses in my head and I realized the ‘two voices’ battle that was going on in my head.

One was telling me if I got up at that time to do the work out, I would be running late for school and to every thing all day and the other was telling me to remember how I feel after exercise and that I still had enough time. I didn’t even know what voice won until I found myself all dressed and doing the INSANITY for yesterday. I was very happy with myself because not only did I do the exercise, I wasn’t late and I proved my other self that I could do it after all.

All week till now has been great. I find that I am more conscious with my choices and I have not given up on the workouts yet.I like to do the workouts in the morning because I find that I am more energetic in the morning and the workout somehow always leaves me with a positive outlook for the rest of the day.Also, probability that I exercise in the evening is always slim to none as I always find myself entangled in one million projects.

I am happy with the tiny results so far. I got on the scale yesterday and so far, I have lost 3.5 lbs. Like I said in a previous post, my mid-section feels firmer and I feel it going inside. It is still there when I look in the mirror but I can already see the difference and every time I eat a salad, it is a victory for me. Between school, work, other things in between and maintaining a blog, things can get overwhelming pretty quickly and that is why I take time to enjoy the little victories because it keeps me motivated to stay on the course and expect the bigger results.

Today was another good day even though it didn’t begin with workout as usual. My alarm is misbehaving lately. Somehow, it didn’t ring this morning either and I woke up so late. I was going to exercise this evening but was caught up with a lot of work. I almost gave up on it when I found myself on my room floor doing multiple reps of push-ups, squats, leg raises, and abs. I am not sure how long I did it for but breaking a sweat is always a refreshing feeling. I am actually feeling sore.

Anyways, Sorry for the long write-up tonight and I hope you have stayed on course too, whatever your journey is. It is not easy. It never is but one step at a time, gradually, we can do it. Well, I wish you all a lovely weekend ahead and hope I can find time for at least one more post before the start of the new week.

Thank you to all those who stop by here, I so appreciate your visits and for the comments, thank you for taking the time to encourage me with your words because I take them seriously. Have a wonderful night   morning.

Would sure love to hear your stories too, any updates? How is your journey going so far? Whatever your journey is. Please share how you are feeling today.