Happy Belated Valentine’s Day people of the internet. Ha!
Another year, another Valentine’s day and I’m still single. Ha!
This is not a lamentation post but I really didn’t think I would still be single this go round. It’s not as if I particularly put myself out there but somehow, someway I’d hoped the love of my life would miraculously waltz his way into my life by now to weave both of our existence together like a fine mesh fabric. That this would be the year when I finally partake in the overzealous euphoria that comes with February 14th, that this year I’d finally have an arm candy to exuberantly display on my social media but especially, that this year, I’d ultimately be maddeningly in love. But, it appears Cupid – the god of love has forgotten to remember me…yet again.
For anyone remotely familiar with this blog, you know my dating history/life has always been sparse with very limited success. I struggle to maintain friendships, so maybe it’s little wonder that I can barely get a boyfriend, talk less of keeping one. I’ve been truly fortunate with my small circle who have all let me enjoy my life, blissfully shielded from the societal pressures of marriage but I guess even they are starting to get weary with the recent barrage of inquisition. They encouraged me to give online dating a chance which I obliged in 2022 and the result was unimpressive, boorish even. But that’s a story for another day.
For my entire adult life, I’ve never had a relationship during the season of Valentine( unless I don’t remember) but I’ve also never felt any of the pangs of loneliness that are widely reported with the event. I’ve never felt that my life was lacking in anyway or that I was peculiarly missing out on anything because I’ve been self-sufficient for a long time.
Although, I can understand how for some, it can be a day of unrivaled anxiety especially with everyone showing off their beautiful, handsome and world’s best significant other. To paraphrase a viral Ghanaian meme, the pressure is indeed getting ‘worser’ which all depends on one’s outlook. It’s quite OK to ogle at couples beaming at each other on social media or in real life on Valentines day and wish that for yourself. But it’s utterly important to revel in your own aloneness after the ogling, to speak kindly of yourself, to be good to yourself and to affirm the love you desire by showing it to yourself first. I spoil myself all time with flowers, gifts and what not but on Valentine’s day I go all out to splurge on myself. I love on myself a little extra.
That’s not to say I don’t want be in love or that those who experience anxiety with February 14th are not justified. In fact it’s the opposite. I’m quite the hopeless romantic – I may not have an experience-laden dating resume but the few I’ve had, were significant enough to potentially cause anyone to swear of relationships. But I refuse to let those few instances deter me from love because love is indeed the singular best feeling in the world. I’ve been in love before and it was the most exhilarating emotion that I would love the chance to be able to experience again. And I wish that for everyone, that at least once in your life, you would feel real and true love. These days, I live that love in my head, imagining what it would be like to have that again for a second time and how lucky my partner and I would be to have found each other in this maze of humans on earth.
So if you are like me, cupid must have been too busy to hook us up again this year but do not despair. As the saying goes, everyday is Valentines. So continue to live your best life but no matter, you better not give up hope on that love. One day, it will find us too. For those actively putting in the work, GO YOU! Best of luck! It’s indeed a battle field out here trying to find your person but regardless, I wish us all better luck next go round.
Thank you so much as always for reading. Please comment if you related to this post in anyway, like and share.
XOXO, Tiramisu!
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