Tag Archives: school

The Switch

“When are you graduating?”

“When are we celebrating you?”

“When are you finishing school?”

These are the questions I get now when I visit my aunt and uncle and happen on some of their friends. These are friends with whom I have no ties or relations to, but they however find the need to ask about my educational prowess, despite the fact that they have no stake in it. Some of them, might have come to get used to my graduation date shifting further with each year.

My uncle stopped asking me questions along those lines two years ago. We now have this silence agreement of ” ask me no questions about my education and I shall tell you no lies”. If he noticed whenever he asked me such questions, then he must be wondering why my school load tends to increase with the years instead of reducing.

It is not that I don’t like talking about my education or tell my inquirers proudly and confidently about when I will finally graduate. The problem is whenever I delve into answering all those questions, the conversation almost always takes a life all its own. In the past, people have not been very understanding and the fear of been judged nudges me to embellish the truth instead of full disclosure.

If any of you are Africans reading this or have African friends who share their experiences, then you will realize that in most of our cultures, it is the norm for our parents to dictate what we study in school and what career path we follow. We simply obey and do as they say because after all, they are in charge of the tuition.

Back in secondary school, I was a well balanced student. I did well in both the arts and sciences but excelled particularly in the sciences. My parents noticed and pushed me towards science more,never stopping to ask what I would have wanted to do. They wanted to have a doctor in the family, if that didn’t pan out, an engineer would do and if all else failed, then a pilot.

And so it was that I found myself studying Microbiology my first semester in the states. My uncle convinced me to switch to nursing, citing my families financial situation to which I obliged the following semester. Still at the advice of my uncle, I moved from pre-nursing to pre-LPN. Subsequently, I kept shuffling back and forth between micro, pre-nursing and pre-med and back to micro. You can imagine what this back and forth movement would do to one’s psyche.

It took me moving out of my uncle’s house before finding my voice (as long as I wasn’t under his roof anymore, he couldn’t dictate my life) and deciding what it was I actually wanted to do as a career path.

Why did it take me so long to admit to myself that this was not the career path I wanted? Or that I was never really cut out for the sciences , considering how I have been dabbling in writing for a long time and honing my skills for God-knows how long. Well, there is the fear of my parents (reason why I have still not told my dad I am not pursuing a nursing degree anymore, he would find out like everybody else on graduation day) , the fear of disappointing them or dashing their hopes and there is the ballast factor. The guarantee of a stable income and better life that a career in one of those fields promises.

What these unlicensed and unauthorized journalists fail to realize is that no one is more perturbed about my education than I am. It would feel really good to be able to say I am a graduate but the simple fact is I am not. But I am working towards that every day and giving it my best shot.

I have come to the conclusion that I am a late bloomer. By my culture’s standards, I should have been working on my PHD or a second masters now (no pressure) but I am not. I always have my epiphanies when they are long overdue and my hindsight is always 20/20.

If you are like me, know that is totally allowed for you to feel frustrated but what is not ok is accepting defeat, accepting the statusquo. You are not in competition with anybody and even if you were, what matters is that you make it to the finish line. It is not how about how fast you get there but how far you make it, and that finish line is the goal.

Have a blessed rest of the week y’all.

 

Update On The Journey

Good evening my lovely and wonderful WordPress family.

Wow.

It feels like I have been away for a long time when it has actually been just a week. Well, school started on Monday and the drill started all over again with full throttle. My days are so so crazy and Tuesdays would be my worst this semester.

My Tuesday this week started at 4 AM. I had to wake up that early because I wanted to get my work out in before starting the day. So I woke up at 4 am, worked out, put a few things together, went to school and by 1:30 PM I was going to work. I almost didn’t have time for lunch and I only got off work at 7 PM. As exhausted as I was, I am not sure what else I was doing but I didn’t go to sleep until 11 PM. Crazy day and that is how my Tuesdays are going to be because I have an early class, – a lab which starts at 7 AM.

By the end of Tuesday, I was telling myself, if every day were like Tuesday, I would lose this weight whether I liked it or not because it was pretty exhausting. I had to remind myself to eat and to drink water and make good choices.

Pondering on Tuesday and the week so far left me thankful for the little victories already. Coming off the weekend into the new week, I messed up a little.My mistake was having Chinese food and a small Dairy Queen Blizzard. Usually, I would have had the fried rice and lo mein with orange chicken, and a medium or large blizzard but instead, I had the lo mein with steamed veggies and bourbon chicken.Also, I went for the small blizzard instead of the medium or large. I was disappointed by the time I was going to bed Sunday but I tried to not beat myself too much about it because after all, like in the past, it could be worse.

So Monday was a good day and last week I downloaded the ‘My Fitness’ app so I can keep track of what goes in my mouth. I had it before a while ago and deleted it because I didn’t pay much attention to it or when I did put in my meals for the day, I left out the ‘bad choices’. This time, I record every thing so that it keeps me accountable for the times that I mess up.

I was particularly proud of myself yesterday when for whatever reason, my alarm didn’t go off and I woke up a little late and felt that I didn’t have enough time to squeeze exercise in. I was already making all kinds of excuses in my head and I realized the ‘two voices’ battle that was going on in my head.

One was telling me if I got up at that time to do the work out, I would be running late for school and to every thing all day and the other was telling me to remember how I feel after exercise and that I still had enough time. I didn’t even know what voice won until I found myself all dressed and doing the INSANITY for yesterday. I was very happy with myself because not only did I do the exercise, I wasn’t late and I proved my other self that I could do it after all.

All week till now has been great. I find that I am more conscious with my choices and I have not given up on the workouts yet.I like to do the workouts in the morning because I find that I am more energetic in the morning and the workout somehow always leaves me with a positive outlook for the rest of the day.Also, probability that I exercise in the evening is always slim to none as I always find myself entangled in one million projects.

I am happy with the tiny results so far. I got on the scale yesterday and so far, I have lost 3.5 lbs. Like I said in a previous post, my mid-section feels firmer and I feel it going inside. It is still there when I look in the mirror but I can already see the difference and every time I eat a salad, it is a victory for me. Between school, work, other things in between and maintaining a blog, things can get overwhelming pretty quickly and that is why I take time to enjoy the little victories because it keeps me motivated to stay on the course and expect the bigger results.

Today was another good day even though it didn’t begin with workout as usual. My alarm is misbehaving lately. Somehow, it didn’t ring this morning either and I woke up so late. I was going to exercise this evening but was caught up with a lot of work. I almost gave up on it when I found myself on my room floor doing multiple reps of push-ups, squats, leg raises, and abs. I am not sure how long I did it for but breaking a sweat is always a refreshing feeling. I am actually feeling sore.

Anyways, Sorry for the long write-up tonight and I hope you have stayed on course too, whatever your journey is. It is not easy. It never is but one step at a time, gradually, we can do it. Well, I wish you all a lovely weekend ahead and hope I can find time for at least one more post before the start of the new week.

Thank you to all those who stop by here, I so appreciate your visits and for the comments, thank you for taking the time to encourage me with your words because I take them seriously. Have a wonderful night   morning.

Would sure love to hear your stories too, any updates? How is your journey going so far? Whatever your journey is. Please share how you are feeling today.