Tag Archives: calling

Communicating Assumptions

We are an ever busy society, constantly on the move and we never almost have time to meet with friends and family to have a decent time together, face to face. These days even phone calls that used to be the “in thing” have become so obsolete. You would think that with social media inventing all these forms of communication that now exist, that it would make it easier for people to communicate their feelings across but that is not the case.

One of my girlfriends got crossed with me two days ago because she came to my house to visit and I wasn’t home. I asked her “well, why would you come to my place without alerting me before hand?” and she said, since I had told her I had the day off on Martin Luther King day, she figured she should come visit. That sounded for lack of a better word foolish to me;why would you assume that because I have the day off, therefore I will automatically be at home? I like to think that typically, especially on this side of the world, a day off is when you catch up to all the other errands that suffer during the week when I can barely squeeze out time to do them.

This led to me remember one time when a close friend was mad when I said we were not dating. I had met him about three months prior through a mutual friend. We were introduced casually and we got talking. I liked his company and we shared  quite a lot of interest. I could tell from his gestures and things he would occasionally say that he wanted us to be more than friends but he never voiced his feelings.

So I recounted a story to him about my uncle asking why I was still single and he asked me in the most surprised and flabbergasted look I had seen in a long time if I was really single. I was then taken aback, wondering if he asked me out and we were dating, yet somehow, he was the only one privy to that information, to which he said, he thought we were dating. Assumptions Assumptions.

Why would anyone put themselves through that kind of emotional torture? Why would you be having a relationship with me in your head without telling me? Why can’t people just pick up the phone and communicate their thoughts to those whom it is directed towards? Why?

I have been there before when I had something to tell someone and it felt like the most daunting task I would ever take on. Not sure on the receiving parties reaction, uncertainty, fear of loosing the friendship/relationship, and just plain fear of rejection are usually some of the reasons that make it a burden to communicate those feelings .

I found that if you have difficult information to tell someone, it doesn’t matter how well you sugar coat it, if it is bad news/information, it is going to received as such regardless of your best efforts. For me, if it is that hard, I would always go ahead and send a detailed text message to convey those feelings across; that way, I am not completely facing the wrath of their reaction to my action.

We can get easily lost in this worldly system which is so fast paced and messages tend to be lost along the way and misconstrued and the single best way to fix that is the very old fashion way, TALK. Voice your opinion, make known your feelings and communicate your thoughts, otherwise, it is all in your head. Assumptions are dangerous, in these cases it was mild but I have seen people assume that others knew about information which could decide between life and death.

So if it is the fear of confrontation, rejection or whatever, go the easy route and send a detailed text message. The bottom line is, you have to talk, communicate to the other person and not assume because half of the time, it is never really what it seems.

Hope you are having a beautiful Wednesday. Thanks for stopping by always and do share, how are you feeling today?