Category Archives: wellness

loosing weight when broke

Ever tried loosing weight? Well, I need not tell you how exasperating it is to have to battle with your mind everyday and time. What to eat and what not eat and the unending conversations with yourself about why you need to work out and convincing yourself to workout.

Every day there are countless articles on the web on how to lose weight: Eat This, Not That!, Do This, Not That!, Drink This, Not That!. On Yahoo alone, there are at least two articles on how to lose weight on a daily basis and they are so lucky to have found a devout reader in me. I am constantly clicking away on any article that has the words “weight” and “loss” in the same sentence as heading.

Of all the articles on weight loss I have read, I don’t remember reading any that was particularly suited to someone who wanted to lose weight on a low-budget, or someone who wanted to lose weight but was plain broke.

You see, I was certain this time this year I would have been at least 30 pounds down (I tend to have an overinflated sense of my self motivation sometimes, I know, it’s pathetic), and for a reason. With the many articles I have read and keep reading on loosing weight,I believed I knew all that there was/is to it until my bank account told me “slow down lady before you go homeless”.

When I decided in January I was going to lose weight, I was living at the time with family. So the beginning was easy. I could buy the things that I had read aided in weight loss and “eat right”. It was easy and true to some of those articles it worked. By Mid-February, I had lost 10 pounds. Stepping on the scale and looking down to see that I was 10 pounds lighter was very exhilarating.

Between February and April, I managed to lose another 10. What? I had lost 20 pounds? Impossible! Me of all people, had somehow managed to shed 20 pounds of the mass I was hurling around. Excited is an understatement to how I felt that I did that. I was happy but mostly proud of myself. I rewarded my hard work with a beautiful dress and decided I would use that as my new motivation. What I did not know was that my plans of moving and having my own place would throw a wrench in my weight-loss journey.

In May, I did what I thought was the adult thing to do, have my own place and move from my family. It is very fulfilling to have a place called my own. Living with family was great and I still sleep over there every so often, but there is a certain level of liberty that comes with having a place that is “all your own”.(sure you catch my drift, first time apartment owner).

Anyways, I had no idea about what the effects of me having my place would have on my weight-loss goal. I was completely oblivious to the bills I would have to shoulder at my new place. I am barely ever done paying one month’s bill before the next month’s starts accumulating. I find that I am constantly playing catch-up with my bills and so hardly have any money left over.

The little money I end up having over, wrestles between gas, saving for emergencies and food.And that is how I found out the hard way that, eating ‘green” is expensive and healthy isn’t cheap. I go grocery shopping and stay there for hours not because I don’t know what I want, but because I am trying to reconcile the ongoing war in me about what to buy; scouting for what is cheap yet healthy.

Let just say, my weight-loss journey has suffered some setbacks since I moved into my new place. Now if I had read any articles on how to lose weight on a broke/limited budget, I am sure I would have been down the 30 pounds I had hoped, because I would have known what to buy on my budget that would still allow me lose weight.

I am nanny, and while I am “well” paid (a little over minimum wage), I still find it hard to keep up. A few weeks ago, I had to give up buying “healthy” altogether because my wallet couldn’t handle it. I would love to keep loosing weight and buying whatever it is that will get me there, but more than anything I want to keep that roof over my head with all that I consider a necessity under it like electricity and gas and so on.

So while I find other avenues that my budget can handle to keep loosing, I will stay conscious about what I put in my mouth and working out ( both my school and work schedule make it so hard sometimes to get it in).

Do you have any suggestions for me? I would appreciate any tip from you all, anyone loosing on a tight budget. Meanwhile, hope your today is better than yesterday . Do share. How are you feeling today?

The Depressing Effect of My Scale

It is day 2 into the new year and like every body, I am back in full swing with my work out and decision to lose weight. That means for me to know how much I want to lose, I need to know how much I weigh first.

I got on the scale before my workout and found out that I am at the heaviest weight I have ever been in my entire life, and that feeling sucked. I was aware that after not working out in such a long time, I had definitely gained all the 10 lbs I had managed to lose in a month and a half, but what I didn’t expect was that I would gain it all back and then some.

Immediately I saw that, panic set in and I started wondering how I will get past the first 10 lbs, then to the 60 and then my goal, the 100. I was overcome by all kinds of emotions. I fell to the floor and cried without tears. I asked myself how I got here again, past what my heaviest was in the past to this new record. I felt pity for myself, sorrow, shame and disappointment.

I have let myself down terribly. I thought to myself there is no way I will ever lose this weight. Where do I begin, how do I continue and will I ever get there?. I was almost giving up and then I told myself, it has been almost 2 and half months since I worked out consistently. I didn’t gain it all back overnight, so I would not lose it overnight.

I got up from that floor and went to the mirror. I lifted my shirt and looked at myself for good five minutes. My stomach is the biggest it has ever been and usually, people always complimented me for not having a big belly despite being big. But I looked and my belly wasn’t only big, it was beginning to fall.

So I grabbed my phone and took a couple of pictures. I got dressed and I started my INSANITY workout videos I have had for almost four months now. It was hard but I pushed myself and I finished the first one. I found myself already obsessing over the next few days and I had to tell myself to calm down.

I will take it one day at a time, one goal at a time and hopefully, it gets me to where I want to be By June at least. I just then decided to set small achievable goals first and then move from there. I will try to work out at least once a day following my INSANITY workout. Go for walks at least twice a week and try to lose at least 2 lbs a week. And to lose at least 10 lbs by end of this month.

I hope it is enough to keep me motivated and I hope I meet these tiny goals so I can progress to the next. My breakfast this morning  was a Kefir blueberry smoothie and I have already drank 3 bottles of water. I pray my head stays up and I keep the big picture in mind to motivate me to make better meal choices today.

My head stayed up today and though my meal choices weren’t great, they were better. For lunch, I had a chicken salad sandwich on wheat bread and I had wheat falafel with humus and some veggies for dinner. I drank a lot of water throughout the day and I had 2 apples for snacks. I just had a cup of green tea and I hope and pray tomorrow is better.

I woke up feeling depressed this morning after climbing on the scale and now, I am upbeat and motivated. I was positive all day till I got bad news but I am thankful it did not deter me. I hope it stay that way. How do you feel today? Any new year resolutions? Goodnight folks

Happy New Year

My Invisible Body

I have tried to lose wait since I can remember. I am one of those people who never had a petite figure to begin with, but gradually I got bigger and bigger. I am also one of those born into those families with ‘fat’ genes (I totally do not blame my weight on that) but I know I have used it as an excuse sometimes.

I remember too while in high school, one of my friends always teased me or perhaps predict my future when she said if I didn’t watch myself, I would get bigger and I always told her, there was no way that was ever happening. According to me, as I told her, I was either going to lose weight or keep up my stature. I wish that were true.

Sometimes I feel like my weight snuck up on me. I look at myself in the mirror most times and I wonder when I got here and how I got here. Don’t get me wrong, I am foodie I admit it. I have always had a sweet tooth and my cravings seem to control me at other times that it felt like if I didn’t do anything about it in the moment, I will be impregnated by it. At the same time, I have always been an active person, I always made sure to work out. Now my workouts were not by Olympic standards by any stretch ,neither were they that of the most athletic people. But I tried to work out on the treadmill at least 30 minutes for at least three times a week.

My meals were not/ are not the most health conscious meals but I tried/try my very best and it is my snacks that just seem to mess up my whole efforts. I am not trying to justify my weight neither am I making excuses for not losing it. But every single time I think I am making a step in the right direction, something always messes it up.

I have been to places before where I either knowingly or unknowingly eves dropped on people’s conversations and I would hear about their weights and look at them and wonder ‘ wow, you weigh that little and look that big?” That is because for most of those that I have heard and seen, their weights don’t add up because in most cases, I weigh more than them but I look less heavier than them.

I am also very conscious of my body, so I always try to dress “decent” and not wear any thing that is unflattering to my figure, which always gets people to compliment me on how good I look. Not to sound vain, I am a very confident person myself and each time before I leave home, I look in the mirror and tell myself, ‘girl, you look smashing’.

So I was thinking about all these things two days ago and wondering if they have all made me invisible to my body. How is it that sometimes, I feel like the biggest person in the world which does affect my self-esteem and yet everybody keeps telling me how good I look. Is it that my body became a normal to me that it was now invisible to the point that even I didn’t see that I needed fixing?, in this case weight loss.?

Some people find pleasure sometimes in downing other people everyday not realizing the struggles that said people have to go through with everyday. My body is not invisible because I can’t see it. The compliments people give me are simply because I dress for my body type. But I am sure that like me, many overweight, big and obese people have let their bodies become invisible.

It is not that we don’t look in the mirror ,neither is it that we don’t see ourselves when we look in the mirror. It is simply that some of us have given up that hope that we would ever look like what we did in high school, some of us don’t have the courage enough to go on that journey and some, they have just chosen to not see that body.

Some of us like me, have chosen to not see that body not because it is not there, but because somehow it reminds us or tells us that we are failures. I was thinking just last week, how it is that most of the things I had decided I was going to do this year, I focused on them and did them. Unfortunately, my weight has been the one thing that I keep fighting with and for.

I have chosen to see this body now. With every bad meal choice, bad snack decision and failure to exercise I beat myself up because I am hoping that 2014 is the year when my body comes into full circle, when my body makes a 360 turn. This body is no longer invisible, this weight is no longer invisible, one step at the time and gradually, this body will come into full view.

How are you feeling today?. please share.

 

My Weightloss Journey

As I wrote in one of my earlier post today, I resolved to be focused and driven for the New Year and mine starts today.

 

One of the things I have always wanted to do three years in a row now has been to lose weight. I have read all kinds of books, articles on loosing weight. I have signed up for gym membership only to end up not using it and I have bought numerous workout videos only for them to stare back at me on my DVD shelf.

 

I remember telling myself severally that ” it’s the intention that counts” as they always say, but failed to realize that when it came to my body, a goal that was as personal and important to me as loosing weight, only the intention would not cut it. If it did, I should have melted right off the face of this earth since I would have shrunk to an invisible existence from such good intentions.

 

Only my actions towards those intentions weren’t enough. It didn’t suffice for me to just buy the workout DVDs without actually working out, it didn’t suffice me signing up for gym membership without actually going, it didn’t suffice buying and reading the many diet books, weight loss articles without actually doing it.

 

Several times I would start my day right, waking up and working out, having a healthy and weight-loss-focused breakfast only to mess it all up by afternoon or sometimes doing well in the afternoon only to mess it all up by evening.

 

With each mess up came defeat and lack of drive to continue the next day or to the next meal and I would just give up and have several days/weeks of no exercise, bad eating. I always wondered what I could do to end the cycle and in all the many books and articles that I read on loosing weight, no advice quite struck a chord like the one I read on Yahoo a few days ago.

 

It was a woman who succeeded to lose 100 lbs and said her motivation was that, there is always the next meal to correct her mistakes if she messed up because there will be mess ups. She didn’t beat herself too much about them but will accept the defeat and make amends by the next meal. Being focused on what she ate, accepting and fixing her mess ups helped her and gradually she had lesser and lesser mess ups and eventually lost all the weight.

 

So I am starting mine today, I pray to stay focused and not beat myself too much when I slip, to not deny myself anything because it will only push me to extremes later, to take everything in moderation and to exercise at least 30 minutes/four days a week for starters.

 

That said, today is my Day 1:

 

No workout today so far, woke up late but I hope I can squeeze it in later in the evening.

 

Breakfast, not good: had a Chick-Fil-A spicy chicken biscuit with coffee. taken it in stride and hope to have a better lunch and dinner.

 

As the saying goes, failing to plan is planning to fail, so I am going to plan my meals for the rest of the day and update later whether or not I kept to it.

 

lunch plan: subway six-inch turkey sandwich

 

dinner plan: spinach salad with baked breaded Panko fish

 

lets see how that goes and hope to drink lots of water.

 

Update: 11:45 PM

 

The day has ended and I did stick to my meal plans for both lunch and dinner, but dinner was a lot bigger because I guess I got radical too quick with lunch which left me hungrier by dinner.  I drank lots of water today too but I wasn’t able to get in a workout as I hoped because I worked late.

 

One of the advice that I have come across over and over while reading countless diet books, weight loss advice articles, etc is that it is always good to have a support network.Be it random people, family or friends who are either providing the support by sharing the journey with you or just there to urge you to keep going when you feel like giving up. So I am asking you to please join me on this journey, I will take any encouragement I can get and if you are sharing the journey,even better as it will be great to lean on each other.

 

So I am setting my alarm hoping to wake up and work out. I don’t have a meal plan yet, just hoping to stay health conscious with my meal picks tomorrow and chronicle it all here. I am still up late because I was here updating my site and now I find I am hungry. It is usually at times like this that I eat the most junk. So without further ado, I will leave you here and hope to join to here again tomorrow.

 

Peace, love, goodnightm

 

Might be a crappy-like day

On Saturday last week I helped a friend clean out her house, call it winter cleaning and I started sneezing continuously during and after the clean up. I assumed it must have been the dust I came in contact with which caused an allergy,sending me in uncontrollable sneeze mode.

Hours later that night, my sneezing became coupled with a runny nose and I made nothing of it, still assuming it must have been allergy from the dust. The days that followed were accompanied with mild sneezing, a very runny nose and an uncomfortable feeling in my throat and sometimes chest.

But I paid it all no attention still attributing it to the cleaning. I was so wrong. Enter last night when I struggled to get myself to sleep because I had a stuffy nose and raspy throat. I still at that point didn’t think to take any medications to help me. I suffered a high temperature in the middle of the night and needless to tell you my night wasn’t good.

I somehow managed to sleep a little and woke up sick and tired this morning and on top of all that, I have to work. So yep, I am starting my day feeling crappy and I just realized thinking about it that, this is the fourth time I have had this in a less than three-month period.

I had never been a fan of the flu shot because like they say ‘if it ain’t broken, don’t fix it’ but my boss was able to somehow convince me to get it and I did. I regret that decision ever since and what I mean is that I blame these bouts of sickness on it. The year I get a flu shot is the year my body can’t seem to fight the least germs or intruders in my system leaving me vulnerable since.

Some may say I didn’t understand the shot considering it is a weaker version of the flu that injected in my body to help my system build mechanism. So true but so far, it has done the exact opposite since. The first time was understandable as they said it was to be expected shortly after, so was the second. But the third and fourth time makes no sense. I am not talking about having a stomach virus, or headache or just cough and cold. I am talking the whole package and then more with high fevers.

I am taking my medications this morning from the last time, and I hope i feel better by mid-day. I wish I could stay in bed but I have bills to pay and thankfully my boss doesn’t mind because if I am not there, she can’t do her own job effectively.

I hope you are not feeling crappy like me this morning and if you are, feel better soon too and stay warm. Hugs.

How are you feeling today?