Second Chances Are For Closures.

Did anyone else watch the season première of the Bachelor on ABC last night or was it just me? I have never quite paid attention to that show and I am an occasional viewer. Just when I have nothing else to see on TV, that’s when I succumb to reality shows like that and I have so many reasons for my distaste in the show.

First off, I will never understand why so many women who have so much going for them, would subject themselves to such public scrutiny. I would never understand why a strong woman, who made smart decisions all her life and worked hard to get what she has would allow a man to play with their emotions and heart? Why does he need 25 or 30 women?

So many questions I have about the nature of the show, but that is not even the focus of this article.Who knew you could actually learn a valuable lesson from the Bachelor? I happened to watch yesterday and I was in awe of how these women were trampling over each other, vying for Chris’s attention (That’s the current bachelor). Anyways, at the end of the show when it was time for the rose ceremony, there was this particular girl called Tara who had drunk so much through the show and she seemed to be either tipsy or drunk.

Chris had to stop for a minute to decide whether he was going to give her a rose, which implied that he wanted to get to know her better. Some of the girls were already on about how it would be awkward if drunk Tara got a rose and they didn’t, but Chris went ahead and gave her a rose. That warmed my heart when he did that, because to me, I felt that it spoke a lot about his character.

He was giving her a second chance at redemption, a second chance to prove him otherwise, a second chance to show him a better side of her. It means he must have assumed that she got drunk because she was too nervous and needed to calm her nerves but then, she over did it. Maybe that is not the case and she is actually an alcoholic who cannot wait to gussle up every sip when she gets the opportunity to. She might turn out to be the amazing woman that he is looking for on the show or she might end up being his worse nightmare. He will never know if  he didn’t give her that rose, and therefore giving her a second chance.

I had written a couple of months back about my ex whom I couldn’t seem to let go, the ex who had become the measuring rod for my subsequent dates. He had asked for a second chance which I denied him, but three months back we started talking again. He said he realized how much of a mistake he made when he messed us up and he wished we could go back to the way we were before.

So we have at least been talking, he is trying his best to convince me we belong together and how he would try to never hurt me again. Sometimes it feels as though I am actually giving him a chance and we are dating again, then the tiniest of things jolt me back to myself and I remind him we are not dating. Here is a guy I prayed would come to his senses and realize how good we were together and ask me out again. I couldn’t stop daydreaming about the good times and what the future would be like if we actually in fact got back together.

I loved him too much, because even in the hurt, I didn’t let go which made it hard for me to get back in the dating pool. I knew if he asked again, I wouldn’t even hesitate and run as fast as I could back in his arms. But That is absolutely not what happened. Far from it, I have been holding back and trying to tell him, the second time around wouldn’t make any difference.

While we were apart, I grew. I grew emotionally and I am more mature than I was when we were first together. I grew as a person and my life is going in a complete different direction than his. I loved him and am sure I still do but I don’t think I want to be with him. I feel like I will be limiting myself if I did. He is the same person and I cannot help but wonder if the event that broke us up in the beginning won’t repeat itself.

The possibility of a second time around with him has given me closure. I am truly over him now, albeit that I might still love him. We are both different people now, maybe we always were but I was too in love then to notice. I have indeed moved on and I am in need of a fresh start. I want to be in a relationship but I am in no rush. I am glad I didn’t rush into anything with anyone and neither did I agree to get back together.

Chris might just be looking for closure when he gave Tara that rose, to make sure he doesn’t misjudge her based on one incident. Sometimes, it is a good thing to give people a second chance. Second chances give us clarity and we tend to have a whole new perspective than before which allows us to make better decisions. Second chances answer the questions which we are dying to have answers to, putting our minds at ease and providing a resolve to our worries.

So, when next you are in position to offer someone a second chance, go ahead because they might just be looking for closure which often times, will help you in return. Have a blessed week my WordPress family.


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